How to dm someone on discord
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Last updated: April 4, 2026
Key Facts
- Direct Messages (DMs) on Discord are private conversations between you and another user.
- You can DM someone directly from a server they share with you or from your Friends list.
- To DM someone not on your friends list, you might need to be in a mutual server or know their exact Discord username and tag.
- Discord's privacy settings allow users to control who can DM them, both from friends and non-friends.
- DMs can include text, images, videos, files, and voice/video calls.
Overview
Discord has become a popular platform for communication, especially among gamers and online communities. One of its core features is the ability to send Direct Messages (DMs) to other users. These private conversations allow for one-on-one or small group chats outside of public servers. Knowing how to DM someone is essential for coordinating activities, sharing information, or simply connecting with friends privately.
What is a Direct Message (DM) on Discord?
A Direct Message on Discord is a private chat initiated between two or more users. Unlike messages sent in public or private servers, DMs are not visible to anyone else on the platform. This makes them ideal for personal conversations, sharing sensitive information, or planning events without broadcasting to a larger group. You can have one-on-one DMs or create group DMs with up to 10 people (including yourself).
Methods to DM Someone on Discord
There are several straightforward ways to send a DM to someone on Discord, depending on whether you are already friends with them or have mutual servers.
Method 1: DMing a User from a Mutual Server
This is the most common method if you share a server with the person you want to message.
- Navigate to the Server: Open Discord and go to the server where you and the person you wish to DM are both members.
- Find the User's Profile: On the right-hand side of the server interface, you'll see a list of members. Scroll through this list or use the search bar at the top of the member list to find the username of the person you want to message.
- Open Their Profile: Click on the user's username. This will open a small pop-up window displaying their profile information.
- Start a Message: In the user's profile pop-up, you will see a button labeled "Message". Click this button.
- Type Your Message: A new DM window will open between you and that user. You can now type your message in the text box at the bottom and press Enter to send.
Method 2: DMing Someone from Your Friends List
If the person is already on your Discord friends list, DMing them is even simpler.
- Go to Your Friends List: Click on the Discord logo in the top-left corner of the application to expand the server list, then click the "Friends" tab.
- Find the User: Your friends list will be displayed. Locate the username of the person you want to message.
- Open Their Profile (Optional but recommended): You can click directly on their username to open their profile, or sometimes there's a direct message icon.
- Click "Message": On their profile, click the "Message" button.
- Send Your Message: A DM window will open, allowing you to type and send your message.
Method 3: Adding a Friend and Then DMing
If the person is not yet your friend and you don't share a server, you'll need to add them as a friend first, provided you know their exact username and Discord tag (e.g., Username#1234).
- Go to Your Friends List: Click the "Friends" tab as described in Method 2.
- Add Friend: Click the "Add Friend" button, usually located at the top of the Friends list.
- Enter Username and Tag: Type the user's full Discord username and tag into the provided field.
- Send Friend Request: Click "Send Friend Request".
- Wait for Acceptance: Once they accept your request, they will appear in your Friends list, and you can then DM them using Method 2.
Method 4: DMing via User Search (if allowed)
In some cases, if a user has enabled "Allow direct messages from server members" for non-friends in their privacy settings, you might be able to DM them by searching for their username directly in the "Home" tab (the Discord logo in the top left). However, this is less reliable as users can restrict this.
Understanding Discord Privacy Settings for DMs
Discord provides robust privacy controls that can affect your ability to DM others and who can DM you. It's important to be aware of these settings:
- Privacy & Safety Settings: Navigate to User Settings (the gear icon near your username) > Privacy & Safety.
- Direct Message Filters: Here you can choose who can DM you. Options often include:
- Everyone: Anyone on Discord can DM you.
- Friends of Friends: People who are friends with your friends can DM you.
- Server Members: You can DM anyone in a server you share.
- Allow Direct Messages from Server Members: Within this section, you can toggle whether users who are not your friends but share a server with you can DM you. If this is off, you won't receive DMs from new server members unless you initiate them or they become your friend.
- Safe Direct Messaging: This feature scans DMs for explicit content. You can choose "Keep me safe" (scans all DMs), "My friends are nice" (scans DMs from non-friends), or "Do not scan" (no scanning).
If you are unable to DM someone, it is likely due to their privacy settings or yours. They may have disabled DMs from non-friends, or you may have your settings configured to not receive DMs from certain groups.
Tips for DMing on Discord
- Be Respectful: Always maintain a respectful tone in your DMs, just as you would in any public conversation.
- Check Privacy Settings: Before attempting to DM someone, be mindful of their privacy settings and your own.
- Use Group DMs Wisely: Group DMs are great for coordinating with a few friends, but avoid creating overly large or unmanageable group chats.
- Report Abuse: If you receive unwanted or abusive messages, use Discord's reporting features and block the user.
By following these steps and understanding the platform's features, you can effectively use Discord's Direct Messaging system to communicate privately with your friends and community members.
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Sources
- Direct Messages - Discord Supportfair-use
- Privacy Settings - Discord Supportfair-use
- How to Add Friends on DiscordCC-BY-NC-3.0
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