How to give a hickey

What is a Hickey?

A hickey, medically referred to as a 'bruise' or 'contusion,' is a discoloration of the skin resulting from the rupture of small blood vessels (capillaries) beneath the surface. This rupture is typically caused by physical trauma, such as the forceful suction applied to the skin. Love bites, as they are colloquially known, are often seen as a sign of passion or intimacy between partners. The appearance of a hickey can range from a faint pink mark to a dark purple or black bruise, depending on the intensity of the suction, the duration of the application, and an individual's susceptibility to bruising.

How to Give a Hickey

Giving a hickey involves creating a bruise through suction. The process is relatively straightforward but requires a degree of gentleness and communication to ensure it is a consensual and enjoyable experience for both parties.

Step 1: Communication and Consent

Before attempting to give a hickey, it is paramount to discuss it with your partner. Ensure they are comfortable with the idea and understand what it entails. Consent is non-negotiable, and any hesitation from your partner should be respected. Ask them where they would like to receive a hickey, as some areas might be more sensitive or visible than others.

Step 2: Choose the Location

The most common and often preferred location for a hickey is the neck, particularly the area just below the earlobe or along the carotid artery. Other areas that are sometimes chosen include the collarbone, inner thigh, or breasts. Consider the visibility of the area, as some people may want to conceal their hickey.

Step 3: Apply Suction

Once consent is given and the location is chosen, you can begin applying suction. Gently but firmly press your lips against the skin. Then, create a vacuum by sucking the skin inward. The suction should be strong enough to cause the capillaries under the skin to break, but not so intense that it causes significant pain or injury. You can vary the pressure and duration of the suction to achieve the desired effect. Some people also incorporate light nibbling or biting into the process, but this should be done with extreme caution and clear communication, as it carries a higher risk of causing actual injury.

Step 4: Maintain Suction

Hold the suction for a period of time, typically ranging from a few seconds to a couple of minutes. The longer and more intense the suction, the darker and more prominent the hickey is likely to be. You may hear a slight popping sound, which can indicate that capillaries have ruptured.

Step 5: Check the Result

After applying suction, release the skin and observe the area. You should see a red or purplish mark begin to form. If the desired effect hasn't been achieved, you can repeat the process, adjusting the pressure or duration as needed. Remember to be mindful of your partner's comfort and pain levels throughout the process.

Aftercare and Fading

Hickeys are temporary and will fade on their own over time. However, there are several methods that people use to try and speed up the healing process or alleviate discomfort, although their effectiveness is largely anecdotal:

• Cold Compress: Applying a cold compress or an ice pack wrapped in a cloth to the hickey within the first 24 hours can help reduce swelling and constrict blood vessels, potentially minimizing the bruise.
• Warm Compress: After the initial 24-48 hours, applying a warm compress can increase blood flow to the area, which may help the bruise to dissipate more quickly.
• Massage: Gently massaging the area around the hickey can help break up the clotted blood.
• Topical Treatments: Some people use creams containing arnica or vitamin K, which are believed to help with bruising, though scientific evidence for their rapid effectiveness on hickeys is limited.
• Concealing: If you wish to hide a hickey, clothing with a high neckline, scarves, or makeup can be used to cover it.

Potential Risks and Considerations

While generally considered harmless, there are a few potential risks associated with giving and receiving hickeys:

• Pain and Discomfort: Excessive suction or biting can cause pain, soreness, and tenderness in the affected area.
• Infection: If the skin is broken due to biting or very aggressive suction, there is a small risk of infection.
• Hematoma: In rare cases, a significant accumulation of blood under the skin can form a hematoma, which might require medical attention if it is severe or persistent.
• Scarring: While extremely rare, aggressive or repeated trauma to the skin could potentially lead to scarring.
• Blood Clots: Extremely aggressive suction near major blood vessels like the carotid artery has been theorized to potentially pose a risk of dislodging a blood clot, though this is highly unlikely with typical hickey practices.

It is crucial to prioritize your partner's well-being and ensure that the act is enthusiastic and consensual. If any pain or discomfort arises, stop immediately. Remember that hickeys are a form of consensual play and should be approached with care and respect.